My Baby

Dedicated to all of our babies... please see the ending too. xxx

Love... 100%

B.J.
November 28, 1996 - February 26, 2010

We miss you.  We love you always.

I hope you know how important you are to us and always will be.

Thank you for making us the luckiest.

 

 

About Me

Do you really want to know?  I think I say it all in my blog, but this page with more info will be coming soon.

Thank you for stopping by here!!!  I love my visitors! <3

The Wisdom of a Broken Heart

This may seem like a strange post for near Valentine's Day, but it's for those who seem to dislike the "holiday" because of not having the love you want in your life or because of feeling broken-hearted and lonely. I recently read a line similar to this from Abraham-Hicks:

I do not want to be loved, I just want to love.

You may see people desperately searching to get love and validation and they search any and everywhere for that feeling. If they just turned that inward, a peace comes and then they may experience the ability to now give. Here is where I believe the healing begins. The feeling of a broken heart can be one of the worst and inescapable feelings that can be hard to heal from when you do not look at it face on and just allow it. I loved the idea of the book, Wisdom of a Broken Heart by the wonderful Susan Piver. Her Buddhist beliefs provide a healing undertone for the book and will be invaluable to those experiencing the pain of "lost" love.

Here, Susan talk about the book:



Coincidentally, I received this email today from the Universe. (yeah, we are best friends...)

All endings, Candi, are happy endings.

If you even believe in endings.

Whah!!
The Universe

If you need time to heal from something, take the time you need and make sure to appreciate the journey.  All of it.  No matter your love life details and desires, as Valentine's Day approaches, just remember that no one can ever take away your ability to love.  Keep on giving and giving and giving. 

Lots of love to you. <3 <3 <3 <3

Will Smith

I LOVE this compilation of interviews and found myself laughing at what Will says about "being realistic!" It's the fastest road to mediocrity... so why aim to be realistic? Also, why have a plan B? It only distracts from plan A and puts in your mind that your first plan "may" fail. Why have failure in your mind at all?

Check out the video below! :)

Day 50 of 100 Day Challenge

WOW! I can't believe this challenge is only half way through and I have gained SO much already! I'm feeling great and I can't wait for the next 50 days!!

Within the 50 days, I have already accomplished a lot of what I was looking for. I was looking to eat better and have done so with an ease and with forgiveness, which makes the journey fun! I am already at my goal weight and see how I can maintain it now. (not through muscle loss or water loss!) It's releasing the extra weight that I do not need! This path includes LOTS of raw foods and I love them all. A green drink each day (at LEAST one) is now a must or else I feel incomplete! I make a lot of fresh juices, smoothies, salads, eat fruits, nuts, seeds, oils, supplements like chia seeds, acai berries, maca powder... and if I do eat cooked foods, they are steamed veggies, quinoa, hummus, and some other proteins that are not wheat/flour based. (Steering clear of breads and things like that!) It is SO good and I feel a million times better eating this way! If I do have "junk", I just quickly get back on track and it's no problem at all. (Still have to have my Buddha Hut "chicken!")

Exercise is now a regular part of my day. I feel awesome spending at least 30 minutes per day on planned exercise. Whether it's a fast walk on the treadmill or a DVD such as Turbo-Jam or Tammi Lee's abs, it's a great feeling when finished! Combined with group yoga class, I am just beginning a well-rounded fitness plan that I enjoy!

I was looking to also bring in more love in my life at the beginning of this 100 day challenge. I wanted this through great friends, more time with Britty and the pets, and also well - you know! I'm happy to say that I have experienced all I wanted to and MORE. Now, I can begin to create more and fine-tune what I am looking for even more so! :) How fun!

So with the 100 day challenge, I've had sad days, "stuck" days, and also some of the greatest days I have ever had. :) On the whole, I just cannot believe how life changes when you choose to be 100% responsible for EVERY aspect of it! I've also learned to shed the old ways of thinking that no longer serve me. I am not worried about what other people think. I am not worried about pleasing everyone, because I cannot. I am not worried about the labels people called me in the past - that is over-with! It is not part of my present and certainly not part of my future! As my good friend Chris sang to me, "I can see clearly now the rain is gone..." That about sums up the 100 Day Challenge for me. :) 50 more days to go.

Forever a Friend

This is for you, Karen. <3 This is my favorite photo of you and Mattie and the moment I saw it on your blog in 2006, I saved it to my computer to look at it often. I completely understand the friendship you had with her. She made so many of us happy with all the adorable photos you shared with us and the trips to the beach, cafes, and parks. You made one another very, very happy and I am glad you had 15 years together. Wonderful memories. Thank you for including us in your friendship with her! She will never be forgotten.

Lots of love to you. {{hugs}}

Happy New Year!

Thanks to my 100 Day Challenge friends for joining me in a New Year's message!!



Happy 2010 everyone!! It will be the best year yet!!

Christmas 2009

I cannot stop watching our Christmas Day video! John cracks me up every time. Glad we could all be together this year!!



Happy New Year to everyone!

Psychic Vampires

Today, someone gave me some great advice and told me about "psychic vampires."  I found the phrase funny, but looked it up.  I found it extremely helpful and wonder if you are unknowingly being bitten.

"When a psychic attack takes place, the psychic vampire receives an energy surge while the victim experiences fatigue.

People who "suck" the energy of others are called "psychic vampires." This "sucking" takes place when one's energy is depleted and needs to be replenished so he or she "sucks" the energy of another person. It is not unusual for a person who is ill or feeling inadequate emotionally to draw upon or deplete energized individuals of their life force. These "suckers" are not bad people, most of them are not aware on a conscious level that they are doing what they are doing. Still, their unknowing actions can play havoc with anyone who leaves an energetic opening for this type of thievery. It is important for us to be aware that we may be susceptible to having our energies stolen from us and learn ways to protect ourselves. The harm in a psychic attack is that there is no fair exchange of energy and therefore one feels depleted while the other becomes energized.

Traits of a Psychic Vampire

• experiences feelings of abandonment or rejection
• needs constant reassurance
• never feels satisfied
• seeks nurturing
• low energy - fatigued"

There are ways to protect yourself from being drained by others.  Firstly, recognize this is happening!  Be aware of how you feel after spending time with others.  Try to distance yourself or "detach" from the people who drain the life out of you!  Cutting ties may be necessary for both of you.  The vampires may learn to stop requiring the life force of others, or may just move on to someone else.  Either way, you are not doing anyone any good by allowing the dependency to continue.  Save your energy and protect yourself.  This may ultimately be the only way to save or teach the psychic vampire as well.


Article Source:  http://healing.about.com/cs/energyhealing/a/aa_vampires.htm 
Image Source:  Click

Happy Holidays!!

Happy Holidays!! I made this at work and thought it was fun. Just wanted to share our company's virtual holiday card.


Enjoy the remainder of 2009 and let's get a jump start on those New Year's Resolutions!!

Our Deepest Fear

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?"

by Marianne Williamson from A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles

Photo source = click

Gratitude

Today was sidetracked by the pain in my arm from shoveling! The pain is constant and is taking my focus away from good things. It brought me down today and I noticed my thoughts starting to revert back to bad things. (Like feeling LOST in a crowd.) Physical pain can really wear me down, so I like to stay healthy! I don't take pain killers, so tomorrow I will rest and take supplements and try my best to help my arm heal.

Something positive to be grateful for... *YOU.* Also, finding this teeny old photo and me and Britty from 1998. Was that really 11 years ago? We're still having fun. I'm grateful for that and wish it could never end.

Lucky Me!

I am a little surprised by a recent opportunity to see Deepak Chopra in person. I am officially going to see him speak and am excited yet learning not to be surprised by these "coincidences!" When you align yourself with what you most desire, it all starts coming in!

Another coincidence was finding a book in my storage room by Deepak Chopra! I didn't remember buying it years ago and its date is 1994. Wow! I remember being interested in spiritual ideas and loved reading more and more! Funny that I find the book all these years later and read it again with a new perspective. It's not just a bunch of cool words anymore!

This book I uncovered is called, "The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success." It's fairly simple at first glance. I re-read it now and realize something that someone said to me yesterday is very true: "You've come a long way." Yes! This book is another way of saying things that I hold as unshakable truths.

Here is a bit from the book that I live by and wanted to share:

"Responsibility means not blaming anyone or anything for your situation, including yourself.... Once you do this, every so-called upsetting situation will become an opportunity for the creation of something new and beautiful, and every so-called tormentor or tyrant will become our teacher. Reality is an interpretation."

He goes on to talk about defenselessness and how you lose the need to convince or persuade others about your point of view. It's very freeing.

Deepak's books and videos and seminars can get pretty deep, so I am curious about this upcoming discussion. I'm ready for it.

Lastly, I wanted to share the perfect man I built today with Britty! With a carrot nose, sun-dried tomato eyes and a cranberry smile, we're loving him!!

Raw Food Package

A gift I got in the mail! (a gift from ME!!) Raw items shown here and more like body lotion, dry brush, MSM Powder, and the rest I think is shown here:




Shop!
http://www.therawfoodworld.com/

View!
http://www.youtube.com/user/TheRawFoodWorld

Green Drink and Raw Stuffs!

**This never posted yesterday!  Now it's Day 4 of the challenge, but I wanted to post this even though it's late...**

Day 3 of the 100 day challenge, and that challenge includes eating healthier!  My typical vegan diet is being shaken up a bit with the help of a variety of raw foods.  I have a goal of a minimum of one meal per day as raw, which has not been difficult at all so far.  Today, that meal turned into two:

Raw Pasta and Cheeze Sauce:

Spiralized Zucchini (so good!) tossed with raw Cheeze Sauce made up of a red pepper, macadamia nuts, Celtic sea salt and cayenne pepper.  (recipe from the RawFoodWorld TV show linked to the right on my blog!)

Green Drink:

2 cups green leaf lettuce
1 cup turnip greens
2 celery sticks
1 apple
1 pomegranate
water from the pomegranate (when I soaked it to get the seeds out easily)

Whizzed around in the Vitamix for a moment, and this was a surprisingly good drink!  I sealed 2 more portions of it in glass containers and will be having those tomorrow!

Nothing else eventful happened much with Day 3.  It was a bit discouraging.  No surprises, no good news, and it was a lonely day, pretty much!  I did keep busy clearing out old photos and journal entries in my storage room.  (I think this has the answer to why today was not so great!)

One last note - I did discover journal entries from about 15 years ago.  I had forgotten some of the things I had been through.  I was a little angry when I read it and remembered the circumstances.  I have forgiven people and moved on, and apparently had forgotten the details.  This was a downer today, definitely.  What was a bit spooky about it all was how many times I was writing what I wished could happen.  I wished it page after page after page.  (not specific things, but general things that would free me of the situation I was in.)  The spooky part was - ALL of the things I said I wanted eventually happened.  Every single one.  Even the seemingly unreasonable ones.  It all happened within a year or two of my writing what I did.  I didn't know about intentions or manifesting or attracting, but I did it.  Knowing this, can you image what we can do when we are aware of how things work and also being more specific with our goals?

I had asked for many, many things in those journals.  I got every single one of them.  I just forgot to be specific.  Perhaps I did free myself of that situation years and years ago, but only to get tossed into another of the same!  Perhaps I did find a guy that seemed more interested in Britty... but I forgot to ask that he be honest and healthy and happy!  So I should be fine tuning those goals and wishes, because they DO happen.  They did 15 years ago, and they can only be healthier and better today.

Oh, and one more thing...  pomegranates are one of my new favorite fruits!!!!!  I love them!!!

Green Drink photo source:  click!

Pomegranate delicious photo source:  click!

"Most people are extras in their own movie."    ~ Bob Proctor

Day 1 of the 100 Day Challenge is nearly over!  It's very fun to be part of such a big group of people to inspire and be inspired by!

My day 1 included lots of my intentions like:  Green drinks, raw foods, focusing on work and even finishing early to have more time to do things at home.  I donated 5 more bags of my old clothing (wooo, it feels good to give that stuff away!) and pre-ordered my Vegan Body Building book!!!!  I seemed to have more time than ever and wasn't quite sure what to do with it all!  Usually, I'd work late and go into work late...  come home late and work more.  We like the new schedule a lot and it leaves me more than enough time for working out, making dinner and fixing up the house... especially that storage room!  grrrrr... never ending project!   Plus, it gives me time to go on Facebook and CCOR and YouTube to watch my favorite channels!  (Raw Food World, Brian Tracy, Lilou!)  It's nice to take care of yourself for once, isn't it?  I'm hearing that a lot from the other people in the challenge too.

My BIGGEST challenge is to stop the negative/limiting thoughts about myself like:  "I can't do that."  or thinking I am lazy.  I have to be careful of living by excuses too such as, "I'm too old for that" or "It's *his* fault"  haha.  It happens a lot and it's nice to see others aware of it in themselves and working on it too!  It's quite a journey. 

99 more days to go!!!!!!  

Day 1

Woo! Day One of the 100 Day Reality Challenge begins December 1st!! Since one of my intentions was a fitness based one, I became part of the 100 Day Fitness Challenge too! I guess I didn't want to spend all day *thinking* about things, I also wanted to get off of my butt and do something! I'm excited to begin because it's the right time and I am finally ready for this.

I am up late because I happened to get my DVD in the mail: The Shadow Effect by Debbie Ford. OMG. I wasn't sure if I'd find it useful but it still interested me enough to buy it. I am not even sure what to say about it. I don't really know where to begin because there is SO much in it and it's very important. The idea of it is to embrace your dark and light sides and not to be ashamed or suppress your "shadow" part of yourself. (The part you are not happy with...not able to share with everyone...you hide it...you are ashamed of it...you are held back by it if repressed.) We all have it.

Maybe you are ashamed of something specific from your past. An event. A trauma. Were you abused physically? Emotionally? Did someone betray you? Can you not forgive them? Can you not forgive yourself?

All that we were told about ourselves that is bad and all that WE say about others that is judgmental and bad leads to feelings and beliefs that shape our lives. We must be allowed to expressed ourselves - dark and light - in order to grow and be our best self.

I cannot even say how much I learned from this movie because it's too long and too personal and involves other people's lives too that I won't share out of respect to them. I did do one of the exercises at the end and literally had my mouth open in shock at the end of it. (at myself.)

I did learn to appreciate all those who have been in my life so far. (even the ones who most people think are "evil.") I appreciate where it got me and how it makes me work and try and identify with people. It has also helped me be able to see beyond other people's insecurities and hurt and see what they are capable of if they are courageous. I appreciate the lesson I learned from them very, very much from childhood until now. I've met some amazing people! (most of them never even knew what they were capable of.)

You should see this movie. If you feel stuck. If you feel angry. If you are tired of not being able to express yourself in the "right" way according to everyone else around you... check out www.TheShadowEffect.com and know that you are perfect and you always were.

Animoto.com

Preparing for a New Challenge

"Life is to be lived. If you have to support yourself, you had bloody well better find some way that is going to be interesting. And you don`t do that by sitting around wondering about yourself."
~ Katherine Hepburn

Just in time!! I happened to find the latest 100 Day Challenge on Lilou Mace's Facebook status! I quickly went to her website and joined. December 1st is the starting date and my job until then is to choose what I wish to achieve during the "Reality Challenge." I'm new to all of this, so I am just sorting out the profile and linking up a new YouTube channel for my vlogs. This is WAY beyond my typical comfort zone! (so I figured I'd give it a go!?) I figured that posting video logs of myself talking about my progress may be too much for me to take! I thought of You Tube and I was afraid that I'd crumble with the first criticism! I went ahead and did it anyway because I'm tired of being afraid to do things. With lots of support from others in the Challenge, I think I'm nearly ready for day one!

"Really great people make you feel that you, too, can become great."     ~ Mark Twain

I seem to have put the goals for the challenge in the back of my mind and am doing other things for now hoping the goals will become obvious to me. I have thought of a few so far.. well, more than just a few! I need to be clear on them before December first though to make sure I can make it all happen. Also, I want to make sure the goals are healthy and in my best interest, if that makes any sense.

While keeping all of this in the back of my mind, I am making room for this challenge. I am doing so in many ways and one way is by making room in my home. I'm clearing out boxes that have been in storage for up to seven years! (What was I thinking??) I have moved a lot and carried these "important" things with me all these years! They are taking up an entire large room in my home and also the basement. Setting aside a week to do this, I've cleared out the basement already and am half way through the storage room. The most interesting part is that I remember why I held on to these things. I was afraid that someday I may need them. I always had the "what if" thing going on. What if I were snowed in and needed blankets? What if I wanted these decorations but didn't have the money for them when I wanted them? So many what ifs. These "important" things were a safety net in just knowing that I had them. They reminded me of many good times in my life. (What if those were the best times I'd ever have? I'd have to hang onto them!) Well, I cannot make room for new things that matter if I have these old boxed up obsolete items keeping me static.

It has been fun looking through photos and old journals I wrote in. I was afraid it would be sad to see any of it, but so far it has not been. The only sad moment was seeing photos of Minnie, my kitty, and also BJ as a healthy, shiny perfect Lab. The journals are not sad, but interesting...

One journal entry was talking about how stuck I felt in the home I was living in. I had a dream to leave and start all over again. I seemed to write that many times over those years, actually. I had made a list in the journal of the things I wished could happen. I had to laugh because every single one of those things on my wish list DID happen since writing it. I made them all happen. Moving out. Home schooling Britty. Being healthier. Owning a company. Being able to work from home. Financially supporting myself and not being controlled in that regard. All of it happened and I did quite a bit of work to make it happen. None of it was luck. It never really is.

Seeing this makes this 100 Day Reality Challenge even more exciting. I do know I can make things happen if I work at it and know clearly what I am aiming for. Moving the 7 year old memories out is not as hard as I thought it would have been. Closing the door on an unhealthy ten year relationship was a process, but one that I finally feel completely free of. This sparked the "making room" mentality... internally and externally. Storage room first. Then looking inward to guilt and anything left from other life events. Clear it out. Make the room. December 1st is when new things happen. I will have made them happen. It will not be luck.

Thank you Lilou! I was so ready for this and I "stumbled" across it. I will be sharing my journey on CCOR and also here, possibly, and cannot wait to see what happens next.

Lastly: a storage room find - tucked into a book of her life was a photo of Katherine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy. Their story is a great one and *may* become part of my goals for the 100 Day Challenge!!  This is my favorite photo of them together:

"I don't think that work ever really destroyed anybody.   I think that lack of work destroys them a hell of a lot more."  ~ Katherine Hepburn

------

Image 1 source

Image 2 source