Friday, November 27, 2009

Preparing for a New Challenge

"Life is to be lived. If you have to support yourself, you had bloody well better find some way that is going to be interesting. And you don`t do that by sitting around wondering about yourself."
~ Katherine Hepburn

Just in time!! I happened to find the latest 100 Day Challenge on Lilou Mace's Facebook status! I quickly went to her website and joined. December 1st is the starting date and my job until then is to choose what I wish to achieve during the "Reality Challenge." I'm new to all of this, so I am just sorting out the profile and linking up a new YouTube channel for my vlogs. This is WAY beyond my typical comfort zone! (so I figured I'd give it a go!?) I figured that posting video logs of myself talking about my progress may be too much for me to take! I thought of You Tube and I was afraid that I'd crumble with the first criticism! I went ahead and did it anyway because I'm tired of being afraid to do things. With lots of support from others in the Challenge, I think I'm nearly ready for day one!

"Really great people make you feel that you, too, can become great."     ~ Mark Twain

I seem to have put the goals for the challenge in the back of my mind and am doing other things for now hoping the goals will become obvious to me. I have thought of a few so far.. well, more than just a few! I need to be clear on them before December first though to make sure I can make it all happen. Also, I want to make sure the goals are healthy and in my best interest, if that makes any sense.

While keeping all of this in the back of my mind, I am making room for this challenge. I am doing so in many ways and one way is by making room in my home. I'm clearing out boxes that have been in storage for up to seven years! (What was I thinking??) I have moved a lot and carried these "important" things with me all these years! They are taking up an entire large room in my home and also the basement. Setting aside a week to do this, I've cleared out the basement already and am half way through the storage room. The most interesting part is that I remember why I held on to these things. I was afraid that someday I may need them. I always had the "what if" thing going on. What if I were snowed in and needed blankets? What if I wanted these decorations but didn't have the money for them when I wanted them? So many what ifs. These "important" things were a safety net in just knowing that I had them. They reminded me of many good times in my life. (What if those were the best times I'd ever have? I'd have to hang onto them!) Well, I cannot make room for new things that matter if I have these old boxed up obsolete items keeping me static.

It has been fun looking through photos and old journals I wrote in. I was afraid it would be sad to see any of it, but so far it has not been. The only sad moment was seeing photos of Minnie, my kitty, and also BJ as a healthy, shiny perfect Lab. The journals are not sad, but interesting...

One journal entry was talking about how stuck I felt in the home I was living in. I had a dream to leave and start all over again. I seemed to write that many times over those years, actually. I had made a list in the journal of the things I wished could happen. I had to laugh because every single one of those things on my wish list DID happen since writing it. I made them all happen. Moving out. Home schooling Britty. Being healthier. Owning a company. Being able to work from home. Financially supporting myself and not being controlled in that regard. All of it happened and I did quite a bit of work to make it happen. None of it was luck. It never really is.

Seeing this makes this 100 Day Reality Challenge even more exciting. I do know I can make things happen if I work at it and know clearly what I am aiming for. Moving the 7 year old memories out is not as hard as I thought it would have been. Closing the door on an unhealthy ten year relationship was a process, but one that I finally feel completely free of. This sparked the "making room" mentality... internally and externally. Storage room first. Then looking inward to guilt and anything left from other life events. Clear it out. Make the room. December 1st is when new things happen. I will have made them happen. It will not be luck.

Thank you Lilou! I was so ready for this and I "stumbled" across it. I will be sharing my journey on CCOR and also here, possibly, and cannot wait to see what happens next.

Lastly: a storage room find - tucked into a book of her life was a photo of Katherine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy. Their story is a great one and *may* become part of my goals for the 100 Day Challenge!!  This is my favorite photo of them together:

"I don't think that work ever really destroyed anybody.   I think that lack of work destroys them a hell of a lot more."  ~ Katherine Hepburn


Image 1 source

Image 2 source

1 comment: said...

Audrey is the epitome of a well willed woman! Very lovely as well.